hmm surprisingly i'm here a few days after the prev entry, todays a holiday if u're wondering why i'm so free, some foundations day or something along those lines, woke up at 2pm today, gosh dunno how i'm gonna fall aslp later, gotta b up at 6 tml morning.. flying 2, which leaves me wif 23 more to go.. its slow but steady progress.. cant get myself tinking of home too often now, it gets more painful whenever i start to miss home, its been too long and i've been out of touch for so long, i wonder wad i'd talk to my friends about.. no doubt i have my achievements here, but those will stay in my heart, i just dunno how i'm gonna explain to them how i felt during my close form solo, how much i went through here, what the future lies in hold to me, perhaps it'd b nice if i just kept quiet and b the one listening to them for a change. life has been ever-changing, i've grown too old too fast, right now i just wanna be with my friends and family again.
sometimes i feel mayb cos i dun call back to sg so often is the fact that i'd feel more hurt and lonely after the call, sure its great to catch up wif them and to find out wad they're up to, but after they hang up, it makes me seem so much more alone and i hate that feeling, especially when i haf to report to sqn the nxt day, it just seems to make me devoid of any feeling of wanting to do anything.. damn cant really explain it well, but it just makes me sian and i'll just nua for some time after the call.. even on msn i seldom tok to pple, but for the few special ones that i've been able to share my heart to, i'd like to thank you all for hearing me whine ever so often about my life here, all the boring talk about flying, and of cos being there fer me when i'm getting my usual bout of depression. i dont tink i'd haf survived for this 10 mths if not for msn and those who're always online.. now its just 2 mths more, theres no way i'm anywhere near giving up. but i'd like to also press my point that i dun call back so often is cos i'm BUSY!! theres so much work to do lah, it irritates the s outta me.. u all can call me jutin when i'm back nxt time.. muahahaha lame lame but what to do.. need to cheer myself up sometimes..
theres so much i'd like to talk about, but the feelings kinda lost now, after watching the sun set over the horizon, perhaps i need to go back to my books, mayb next time when i haf such inspiration to try to blog again..
sometimes i do wonder how long more can i try to blog on, i seem to b blogging so much less than last time, and also i've never been able to keep up wif my promise of at least once a week, however short the entry might b, i just cant feel the need to blog sometimes.. mayb someday this blog will just die off, but till that someday
