Monday, December 16, 2002
ok, b4 i continue, i betta warn u all 1st, these are just stuff i'm saying, it may not haf any meaning or wad shit, just my thoughts, it might b crap, it might b meaningful or wad... i realli dunno... so, if u haf other betta things to do, i suggest u dun waste ur time reading all this.
wah kao... last nite realli siao man, the thoughts lyk just keep coming, lol, getting inspired by life liao man... just realised i've been doing the exact same thing almost everyday, every nite when i go to bed, the same routine follows... wtf man... its lyk... the day is just repeating itself lidat, doing the same stuff over n over again... not realli interesting man. come to tink of it, arent we doing the same stuff all the time? eat,slp,work and play are just about the onli stuff we do. we're oso lyk going to sch every wkday during term. then wtf is sch for? sch was intended for wad? educating us, but their methods haf no been realli perfected. the results? us youngsters dun realli take education tat well do we... we just slack ard... then not realli many are realli serious in getting gd grades lor, wtf is gd grades for? i mean... pple in the past din need gd grades to survive, yet now w/o gd grades, u cant get degree all tat shit, then cant get job n all tat. but gd grades are not impt lor, so wad if u're lyk top student in bio chem or wad shit, but u're forgetful or wadeva, or lyk u're just lacking in tat practical dept, u may noe all the theories, but can u realli work them out? all the chemists tok about protons n neutrons n all tat crap, but how many can realli lyk find out lor? its all theoretical crap, a higher level of laming.
in my 11 yrs of schooling, i've nvr been able to finish my holiday hmewk, everytime i wun b able to finish, y? cos i'm lazy... i feel rather guilty at tis pt, cos... if i realli wanna do it, i trust i can b able of finishing it real soon, but... wad i realli wanna do is gaming lor, i dun even mind going professional, but the society in s'pore doesnt realli allow many to do tat man... tat just sucks... wah lao, i'm feeling realli guilty now... haha... just rem tat, when all my frens jio me out, i've nvr realli went out wif them much, the truth is, i could've, but... i dun wanna ask my parents bout it, cos they've been realli strict wif me, dunno wtf for oso, but... the pt is that i can get approval to go out, all the time too, i can heck care my parents, just go out, wtf can they do? but i guess... i'm sorta becoming a pacifist, i dun realli wanna argue, i tink i wanna spare my ears frm anymore torture, i just dun even bother to ask, cos i noe my parents will nag if i do. so yeap... when i jio my frens, they all can make it, but when its the other way ard, i just cant go... so pretti fucked up i m.. haha... realli sorrie man... i noe tat my parents are showing concern for me, everyone shows concern in a different way, but i cant accept it. everyone's selfish, my parents are selfish cos they dun wanna haf tat xtra worry, worry if i'll get into fights, or run into other trouble, and they're selfish cos i keep spending their money, too much of a spendthrift they always call me... but wtf? u need tat much money? u die and ur money still goes to me. anyway... i'm selfish too, i dun accept their strict control, i wan my own brand of freedom, i've been rebellious for 3 yrs... n i dun tink i'll stop, i dun gif a damn bout them.
haf u guys seen the fear factor show yesterday? wtf man, is it realli facing fear? how many pple actualli fear eating pig uterus? wtF? eating stuff is fear? i tink they make pple eat those stuff cos it's wad couch potatoes want... they wanna c pple wrench in disgust, they wanna c them puke. is it actualli fear? i tink the show has degraded into something lyk truth or dare on TV, but wif onli the dare part. it just sucks.
anyone ever pondered the true meaning of life? y r we here? i tink there's no real answer. i tink we're born just becos our parents want to get kids, tats all. y do they wanna get kids? y do they wanna form a family? again, society is at work, everyone has families, so everyone else tat doesnt haf one wants one. so wad if they got kids? to continue the family line? if w/o society, would there b tis crap thing called the family line? there'd b no need for one. then y do they wan kids? they wan them to support them? are u sure kids will reprocicate wad u've given them? all the material needs... if u take a diff view, arent we kids lyk farm animals? the farmers provide food for the animals, to get them fat and nutritious, so in the end, they can get food outta the animals, the same concept works here, our parents feed us, gif us education n all tat, so tat when we grow up, we'll b able to get a job, and then? we work to support them, to provide for them, to them, we're nothing but pieces of investment.
so... do i realli want an education? i dunno, just go for it, not lyk farm animals haf a choice to b farm animals. but life nxt yr? wads gonna happen? first i'll get screwed cos i'm nvr gonna b able to finish my hmewk. theN? i tink the attention will turn to the new j1's, i realli hope the batch frm anderson sec doesnt come man, they're just a bunch of fuckers. my attitude nxt yr is still undecided, i dunno if i wanna b studious, get gd grades (i can do it, realli i can), or i could slack ard, enjoy life the way i want to... hey, i noe, i'm more fortunate then millions ard the globe, but so wat? i'm born here, not there, everyone faces different difficulties, and the degree of difficulty is different to everyone. so wad if the africans are starving? they haf their way to staying alive, foraging for food n all tat, but gif them F maths n wtf can they do? and us? starve us n we'll break down, so... everyone's diff, everythings diff, stop comparing! globalisation has been the cause of all tis shit, if the world wasnt globalised, u tink we'd gif a fuck bout the sept 11 WTC shit? n if the world wasnt globalised, would the radicals gif a damn bout WTC? would they even care to b suicidal bombers? if the world wasnt globalised. would USA gif a damn bout the middle east? its the greed of man, the hunger for knowledge tat sent pple searching for new worlds, researching for more info, helping resolve conflicts to get their own benefits. Greed is the root of all evil.
Some pple tink tat others are fortunate for wad they haf and they should b content for wad they haf, but realli, man is born greedy, everyone would seek higher grds, so pple alreadi born on high places would seek higher places, is tat fault? i dun tink so.
ok, now something bout me, i tink... i'm realli some sort of a perfectionist, i seek to succeed in everything i do, i must do well in anything i decide to do, or i wun b content, i tink tat has realli not helped much, i'd most probably gif up on something if i noe tat i wun do it well, even though i'm close to completion. and... i'm realli not one who speaks much, in a grp, i'm usually nvr the one to start conversations, cos, i dun tink i realli can find any content to converse on, so i'm the crapper, the ultimate lamer cos i'm able to lame it all. i tink, silence is the most beautiful music in the world at times, but others, lyk now, i realli enjoy listening to music, lol...
okay... i realli didnt tink too much last nite, din wanna slp too late... haha... so yeap... tats about all for now... =P its basically just crap lah, and wadeva thoughts tat came across my mind yesterday, nvr realli organise, so things jump ard a lot lor... hahaha
